Wait! First go read Introduction, and Installments One and Two. Seriously. Do it.
Catch up: I'm trying to return a portable internet modem.
So the next day I call in, and give the whole damned spiel about needing to return my portable piece o' plastic poo otherwise known as a portable internet modem in favour of getting the rural internet setup.
The guy asks me if I tried--
"Yes!!!" I probably cut him off.
But I calmly explain I was told I could get the rural instead so please tell me about that. So he says he has to process my return kit. He gets some info from me, clicks some keys, and says can he put me on hold. I say sure, and am subjected to LOUD classical music.
He comes back and says okay, the return's on its way, now we can order the rural service. So he takes down more information and says can he put me on hold. I am tempted to say no just to see what sort of havoc that would wreak but resist the impulse.
Once again, yes, LOUD classical music assaults my ear. I wait and wait and wait. Then he comes back and says sorry for the wait and he has bad news.
I'm thinking, like what? The internet gods said I wasn't worthy????
He says their orders processing server went down for maintenance and my order wasn't processed, it has nothing to do with me or anything, and can I call back in a couple hours.
At least he didn't promise to call *me* back.
So I remained,
a techno peasant
[Go to Installment Four]