Me and My Manure

I'm in Home Depot today wandering down an aisle when an orange-aproned older gentleman says, "Can I help you, ma'am?"

I am tempted to say no thanks, because I'm not in a hurry (and I hate being called ma'am--I don't think I'm that old yet), but I get the sense he'd rather not be putting together whatever it is he's been wrestling with so I say, "Okay. I'm looking for some cow manure."

He says, "Well, for that you should get yourself a cow."

Ha. ha. Not laughing. That can't be the first time he's said that, right?

"Yeah, I know," I reply. "But that's, um...not happening."

So I follow him down the aisle where I get to choose between the cow variety and the sheep variety. It's even advertised as "no odour"! Woo hoo. There's the premium brand and the discount brand. Since I am only trying to help along my up-until-now pitiful patch of rhubarb (Who the H can't grow rhubarb!? Me apparently.) I don't really want to make this an overly complicated exercise. I point to the cow stuff that's on sale and say, "Thanks, I guess I'll take this then."

He offers to carry it to the cash for me. Gosh, that was nice. After my "Thank you, have a great day," me and my manure went home.